Dear Diary,
He did it again. He made me fall even deeper in love with him than I ever thought was possible. I’m talking about Justin, of course. You know — my biggest crush since 2019. He did something yesterday against the 49ers that was so spectacular that my girlfriend said, and I quote, “I’ve never seen you look this happy before.” This is the same girlfriend who was with me when Anthony Davis hit the buzzer-beater against the Nuggets in the Western Conference Finals.
It’s very rare that a player makes me shriek aloud for positive reasons. (I’m not very fun to watch games with, my dearest diary. I’m very vocal, think I know more about football than I really do, and am a Bears fan so I’m inherently negative on Sundays despite them being my favorite day of the week.) But if there’s anyone who could make me shriek on Sunday, it’s Justin. My sweet, sweet gorgeous boy. The chosen one. The young man who’s taken my heart, set it upon fire, and shredded my expectations of what to anticipate from a professional quarterback wearing blue and orange.
It was, without any real contest, the best offensive play the Bears have ever had in my life. I know it sounds like I’m exaggerating considering the regular season stakes and all of that, but I’m being as sincere as I possibly can. It was the best Bears moment on the offensive side of the ball that I have ever seen. Let’s just ignore the stakes of it being only regular season Week 8 and all of that jazz, let’s look at it this way…
It’s 4th & 1 on a drive that has been very promising to bring the Bears back into the game. They’re down by 7, and desperately need a touchdown and a converted extra point in order to make up for the piss poor defensive performance (let’s not talk about either of those things right now). First, Justin takes the snap and sprints out of the pocket to the right for what looks like a designed RB flat for Khalil Herbert. A simple play that designs space for the running back to get outside as fast as they can, catch a bullet pass, and get upfield. The Niners read it perfectly. They disrupt the passing angle, and Arik Armstead looks like he’s going to add Fields to his sack sculpture. Then, as if God had blessed his beautiful feet himself, Justin makes the All-Pro miss. He then proceeds to make the most ridiculous and completely unprompted play of the regular season, by making either four, five, or forty-five other Niners miss before scrambling for not just a first down on the opposite side of the field, but the game-tying touchdown.
I guess I should also tell you that we lost, which sucks. But it’s okay because Justin looked remarkable without the shithead in the building. I can’t wait for next Monday, which isn’t something I could’ve said after last week. I’m sure I’ll be drastically disappointed then if the bald guy who wears the visor is still an employee of the Chicago Bears, but I can still pray at the very least.
Love,
The-Man-Who-Surely-Woke-His-Girlfriend’s-Neighbors-From-Their-Afternoon-Siesta-During-the-Infamous-Fields-Scramble
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