Succession keeps happening so much. First of all, the Roys should not be allowed to own animals. The only acceptable pet is Roman. Poor Mondale is constantly locked up in his cage but Roman would enjoy that! Now Megathump (stupid name that is also animal abuse) is going to die because he ate some bagel. Roman could eat a whole bagel and survive. These pets could learn a thing or two from him. Maybe if Kendall had taken Iverson seriously and tried to find that giant carrot their pet wouldn’t be on his deathbed. Like father, like son!
Connor’s presidential campaign is going to rock my world. You know what, he deserves it! This is what happens when you neglect your firstborn son (Kendall you better be reading this). Logan thinks he was “never interested” in working at Waystar but we know he was never even given a chance. I can’t wait for the Conheads to be the worst, most insufferable people ever. If I knew the president’s name I would make a “let’s go Brandon'' joke here.
It’s a less relevant or topical meme, but I think Roman would make a great “Alex from Target” replacement. If I saw him at the register I would take his picture and make it go viral too. As he said, Gerri picked her prince, and even though he is annoying, she can’t help but feel guilty when he’s upset with her. You are not immune to Roman Roy, Gerri. She’s just like me! Luckily she knows exactly how to win his affection, letting him be yelled at on the phone and then calling him the “visionary chief operating officer” — swoon! Not only that but “bootleg Logan”, too! And Logan is a super cool awesome guy! See, the scolding is warranted but this way the praise is even more deserved. This season is a slow burn with them for sure, but it’s all going to be worth it when Roman and Gerri [REDACTED]. Just kidding.
Speaking of people who need to [REDACTED], I relish the moments we see Greg and Comfry flirt in their horrible unsexy way. At least he got one good flirt in before Kendall tells him he might have to do what Kendall always does and stab his family member in the back. This was kind of an obvious thing to happen but Greg is an absolute idiot as we all know and thinks the rules don’t apply to him. That Tom Wambsgans verbal abuse is sounding pretty good now, isn’t it Greg! Just remember if they verbally abuse you it is probably better than going to jail or failing at your job. Tom took advice from Roman with his castration proposal and now it’s time for Greg to learn a lesson from him, too. Just make the scolding sexy to you! Tom and Roman would really be a great ship if Roman was gay but too bad he isn’t (do not @ me about this)! It is also too bad that Roman (like a smart cool person) does not like Greg and is not interested in talking to him or letting him talk to Gerri. The appropriate response to Greg Hirsch coming up to talk to you is always “no”.
The most important Greg news is that he is going to sue Greenpeace. Epic! How are you going to defend your little “morally superior”, “only good” character now?? #GregIsGoingToJailParty, let's get it trending everyone! Seriously though, his descent into moral corruption is very compelling and I’m glad his character is getting deeper. I have no idea how his relationship with Comfry is going to work into all of this but I’m patiently waiting. Maybe one day they can cultivate the connection Kendall and Stewy have.
“My only agenda today, right now, is to find a deal that works for both of us”. Okay, Kendall, I think you have forgotten about the GAY agenda between you and Stewy (sorry)! It was so good to see these two back together finally. A healthy normal good friendship/(b)romance that anyone would be lucky to have! Stewy shit talks his partner by calling him a “belligerent zucchini” and I don’t know how Kendall doesn’t laugh. I know Stewy was shaking his head when he saw Kendall walk onto that stage. Can’t take him anywhere! Even Greg sees Kendall on stage and says “he’s so annoying!" Aw Greg, did someone not buy you a $40,000 watch and say he might have to throw you under the bus and you didn’t see it coming so now you guys aren’t besties anymore and you don’t want rides in his limo? That’s rough, buddy. He needs to learn how to take care of himself someday.
Nobody, however, is paying attention to how many times Logan needs to pee all day. I guess they have some more important matters to attend to but it was kind of hard to not notice! Maybe this wouldn’t happen if Karolina was still his assistant instead of this Kerry lady. Karolina, I see you and I feel for you — I know you would have kept Logan’s urinary tract healthy! Logan going a little crazy because of a UTI is just “classic fucking dad” in Roman’s mind and everyone, besides Shiv’s hesitancy, seems to agree. Next time I’m being crazy and do something stupid or bad I’m going to blame it on forgetting to take my antibiotics too. I don’t care that it’s something that only happens to old people, shut up.
We now know what Miss J. Smith Cameron was referring to when she said “cat” to describe this season a few weeks ago. Logan took the phrase “dead cat-ing” to a whole new level. They were scared but he is so sweet when he’s going insane! “I’m the only one who’s allowed to be nasty. Nobody else can be nasty to Frank”. So sweet! This would be a perfect birthday card template. This is the nicest he has ever been in his whole adult life, I think. He is not so nice when he snaps out of it.
Shiv finally gets a win this episode. She can take credit for closing the deal and she gets to be yelled at by her father because she still isn’t good enough. Yay! Men show their affection in many ways, the ones closest to her just chose yelling and an offer to impregnate her. Kendall would be jealous to hear their father yelled at her. Logan ghosts him and fully blocks him so his son has no way to speak to the person he’s trying to prove himself to. So Shiv should really cherish their father’s shouting because at least she is failing in front of him. A great ending to a great episode and I am getting the champaign ready to toast to Connor’s presidential campaign announcement.
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